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Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Questioning Youth:
Resources for Parents/Guardians, Family Members, Educators and Allies
This page was last updated on 06
/15/11. If you know of errors please click here to let us know.
Lead with Love (36 min, 2010) wonderful free online film for families with lesbian, gay and bisexual children (also available on DVD)
  • starts with parents' grief
  • addresses families' concerns including faith questions
  • includes research about the vital importance of family support
  • offers 4 concrete steps families can take
  • is multiethnic and otherwise diverse

Bay Area Parents of Gender Variant Children: This group is affiliated with Children's Hospital, Oakland. It's a support group for parents of gender variant and transgender young children, founded and coordinated by Stephanie Brill. Email: sbrill@california.com

Be An Ally, Be A Friend: resource guide from GLAAD, the Gay, Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. It includes sections on: 10 Ways to be an Ally & a Friend; Is your child gay?; Teen & student allies; Stop anti-gay violence & bullies; Images in the media; When your mom or dad is gay; The workplace & LGBT issues; Equal rights, not special rights; Faith issues; Straight spouses; Concerns about HIV/AIDS; Additional Online Resources; Books.  Online here

Beloved Daughter: a 40-page booklet of letters from Chinese mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters to their lesbian/bisexual daughter/sister.  "Beloved Daughter," printed in Chinese and English and illustrated with family photographs, reveals a range of feelings, from fear and shame to understanding and love, as families share their own "coming-out" stories. To order copies ($3, including domestic mailing), mailto:maplbn@labrys.org or use snail mail: MAPLBN, c/o Hanna Lu, 3103 Shelter Creek Lane, San Bruno, CA 94066 or their web site: http://www.labrys.org/family

Coming Out as a Straight Ally: This series of web pages from the Human Rights Campaign includes sections specifically for youth allies, parents-as-allies, other family allies and more: http://www.hrc.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Coming_Out/Get_Informed4/Straight_Allies/Coming_Out_as_a_Straight_Ally2.htm

Early Childhood Development - Your Options - How Do I Know If My Child Is Transgender? This web page from the National Association of Social Workers answers the questions:  What Is transgender?  Can a Child Be Transgender?  What Makes a Child Transgender?  Why Can’t My Child Be “Normal”?  How Should I Respond?  How Can I know If It’s a Phase?  Where Do I Get Help, Support, and More Information? http://www.helpstartshere.org/Default.aspx?PageID=1114

Families Are Talking Newsletter on "Talking About Family Diversity": published by the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS): in English: http://www.siecus.org/pubs/families/Families_Newsletter3.pdf  (pdf format); en Español: http://www.siecus.org/pubs/families/lafamilia_3.pdf (pdf format)

For Parents, Guardians and Family Members of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex or Questioning Youth: an excellent brochure composed by Carolyn Wagner with input from many parents who have known and experienced the challenges and blessings of raising a child whose sexual orientation and/or gender identity is different from their parents. Formatted printing: http://www.gabiclayton.com/familybrochure.pdf (pdf format) and for reading online: http://www.gabiclayton.com/familybrochure-s.pdf (pdf format)

Gender Spectrum Education and Training - a national organization dedicated to creating a more supportive world for people of all genders. Gender Spectrum provides education, resources and training to help families, schools, healthcare providers, businesses, and organizations create a more gender sensitive and supportive environment for all people, including gender variant and transgender youth. Gender Spectrum California Office: 23 Altarinda Road #215, Orinda, CA 94563; Washington Office: 1122 E Pike St #796, Seattle WA 98122; Email: info@genderspectrum.org; Website: http://www.genderspectrum.org/

Gender Spectrum Family Support Group For Parents of Gender Variant and Transgender Children - meets monthly in a Seattle Queen Anne neighborhood. Do you have a child whose gender expression is outside of typical gender norms? Does your child - or a child you know - prefer to wear the clothes of the "opposite" gender or ask/insist that you refer to them with the "opposite" pronoun? Do you struggle with how best to support your child while helping them stay safe? You are not alone. Come join our support and information group, and share your experiences with other parents and family members. We will discuss what gender variance means to our children and our families. Through discussion, examination of current research, and sharing with each other, we will learn to navigate our own struggles, support our children in the best way possible, and work to make the world a safer place for our children. Please join us beginning Jan 19th, 2008 and subsequently on the third Sunday of every month from 5:00 pm - 7:00 pm.; Sliding Scale Fee: $20 - $35 individual, $35 - $50 couple; A limited number of scholarships are available. For more information, please call Aidan at 1-877-809-4159.

Gender Variance Support Group: This is a monthly support and information group sponsored by at Children's National Medical Center in Washington, D.C. for parents of young children (ages 3-12) with strong and persistent cross-gender interests and for the children themselves. They also have a clinical program that is broader-based in age (includes teens). And they have online support groups for parents of gender variant and trans-identified children and teens. Contact Stephanie Lee, Program Coordinator, Outreach Program for Children with Gender-Variant Behaviors and their Families, Children's National Medical Center, Center 6, Suite 5500, 111 Michigan Avenue, NW, Washington, DC 20010-2970: 202-884-2504 or email: pgroup@cnmc.org

If You Are Concerned About Your Child's Gender Behaviors: A Parent guide: from Children's National Medical Center in Washington D.C..  Sections include: Defining Gender-Variance; Commonly Seen Behaviors; Why Gender-Variance Occurs; What to Expect in the Future; Child's View of Himself; Can it be Changed?; How to Help; Pitfalls to Avoid; Dealing With My Feelings; and Seeking Professional Help. Printed copies of the booklet they publish in English & Spanish are available for a .50 donation to cover printing and postage.  http://www.dcchildrens.com/dcchildrens/about/subclinical/subneuroscience/subgender/guide.aspx  

Outreach Program for Children with Gender-Variant Behaviors and their Families at Children's National Medical Center: http://www.dcchildrens.com/dcchildrens/about/subclinical/subneuroscience/gender.aspx 

Mom, I Need To Be a Girl: This amazing book was written by the mom of a transsexual child who transitioned -- including surgery -- with mom's help while still in high school. It includes, at the end, sections with advice to trans youth and their parents, questions to ask in choosing a counselor, an endocrinologist, and more. The book is available free at the web site in Arabic, Spanish, French, Hebrew, Portuguese, and German - in html and pdf versions at http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/Evelyn/Evelyn.html and in a 140 page second edition in English, published on December 27, 2007, ISBN: 1419684388 available at http://www.booksurge.com/Mom-I-Need-to-be-a/A/1419684388.htm

My Child is GAY! Now What Do I Do? addresses parents' most heartfelt questions with honest sensitivity ("Why did my child have to tell me?" "Is it my fault?" "Can my child be cured?" "What about AIDS?"): http://www.bidstrup.com/parents.htm

The Next Step is Ours- WSPTA’s Guide to Implementation of the Anti-Bullying Bill: This excellent guide by the Washington State PTA is designed to assist a PTA leader and to encourage activism in the implementation of the law. It includes background on the 2002 Washington State law prohibiting harassment, intimidation and bullying; model policy and procedures and role of the school administrator; steps to take for implementation; questions PTA members should ask; and more. http://www.wastatepta.org/programs/Legislation/antibully_publication2002.pdf (pdf format)

Our Daughters and Sons: Questions and Answers for Parents of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People: from PFLAG, in .pdf form: http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Our_Daughters_and_Sons_Final_03.pdf (pdf format) also available in Spanish, en Español: http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/NuestrasHijas.pdf (pdf format)

Our Trans Children: a publication from PFLAG explains what it means to be transgender and discusses the special issues of transgender children and youth. Available on-line at: http://www.youth-guard.org/pflag-t-net/booklet.pdf  (pdf format) and, in Spanish -- entitled Nuestros/As Hijos/As Trans -- at: http://www.Youth-Guard.Org/pflag-t-net/index.htm. The English version is also available in print for $1/ea. Call your local PFLAG chapter for a paper copy or order one from national PFLAG's web site: http://www.pflag.org/shop/catalog.PDF (pdf format)

Parental Resources: from the Getting Real About Young People pages: http://www.gettingreal.asn.au/parents/index.asp

PFLAG – Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: provides support, education and advocacy. Distributes excellent brochures. For parents, siblings and friends and for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) youth and adults, too. Local chapters meet monthly and some are specifically for parents of color. Share concerns; ask questions, good people. To find your local chapter, contact National PFLAG. 1726 M Street, NW, Suite 400, Washington, DC 20036. Phone: 202-467-8180, Email: info@pflag.org, Web site: http://www.pflag.org or, in Washington State, see the Washington supplement to this guide.

PFLAG’s Transgender Network: Support, education and advocacy for Transgendered persons, and their parents, families and friends: http://www.youth-guard.org/pflag-t-net  

PFLAG-Talk: a nationwide confidential support email list, "the chapter that meets every night" since support can be found via email 24 hours a day. The email list is comprised of GLBT folk and people who love them -- moms, dads, and children of all ages as well as heterosexual allies. It is a "safe" zone, with no flames and lots of support. There is also a group of moms who staff a sort of "helpline" for people in critical need of timely support. http://www.critpath.org/pflag-talk/

Questions & Answers for Parents and Family Members of Gay and Lesbian Youth: A Vancouver (British Columbia) School Board publication in English and Chinese http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/Q&A for Parents&Family.pdf (pdf format)

Questions & Answers for Parents and Family Members of Gay and Lesbian Youth: A Vancouver (British Columbia) School Board publication in Korean and Japanese http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/Q&A-forParents&Family-Korean&japanese.pdf (pdf format)

Transparent: Love, Family, and Living the T with Transgender Teenagers - by Cris Beam
 Read an Excerpt / Table of Contents / Reading Guide and a 10 page pdf file reading guide /
Teacher Guide and an 8 page pdf file teacher guide

"Understanding Children's Atypical Gender Behavior: A model support group helps parents learn to accept and affirm their gender-variant children." Article from the American Psychological Association's journal, Monitor on Psychology (Volume 34, No. 8 September 2003, p. 40)http://www.apa.org/monitor/sep03/children.html 

When Your Child “Comes Out: an excellent article by Kathy Byrd - originally published in The Forecaster, newsletter of Far West Family Services.  http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/When_Your_Child_Comes_Out.pdf 

"When Your Child 'Comes Out'" article/handout for parents. From Farwest Family Services. Go to pages 4 & 5 of this Spring 2006 edition of their newsletter: http://www.farwestfamilyservices.com/downloads/forecasters/Spring_2006.pdf (pdf format)

Why Don't You tell Them I'm a Boy? Raising a Gender-Nonconforming Child by Florence Dillon, mom.  http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/whydontyoutellthem.pdf (pdf format)

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